Tag Archives: mom

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I thought I would start this blog post by reviewing all the things that I accomplished in this past year. Then I thought, well, I really don’t think I accomplished all that much, but as I began to write and reflect, I realized what I did was all good quality stuff.   It was full of love, family, and some new experiences. It was all good and full of happy things.

Lobster dinner in Bar Harbor, Maine
Lobster dinner for my birthday in Bar Harbor, Maine! Lucky me!!

The highlight of the year for me was the trip to Maine my husband took me on for my 60th birthday! I have always, always wanted to go to the state of Maine. If for no other reason it is that state that is way up there on the tip of the east coast. It has always intrigued me. I never thought I would get to see it, so when my husband asked me what I wanted to do for my 60th birthday, I told him I’d like a really nice lobster dinner. Get it?   Next thing I know we’re booking a trip to Maine for a really nice lobster dinner!

Toastmaster Installation of Officers. That’s me in the middle.

Let’s see…next, I joined a Toastmasters group!   That was huge for me. It was a scary big step. It was so scary for me I didn’t even tell my husband what I was doing until I returned from my first meeting. It was great. I met some really nice eclectic people who I really do love. I learned a lot and gained a lot of clarity about myself and others.

I also did one of my favorite things which was playing in my yard, i.e. gardening. I didn’t do as much as I normally would have due to the time I put in to preparing my toastmaster speeches.   The lesson learned here is that if you add something to your life, be prepared to back off of something else.   That’s one reason why I’m not going to continue with the group. That, and it was kind of a bucket list item for me. Now that I’ve done it I want to move to something else, and my yard is a big neglected mess. Really, it is.

As you get older, you realize life gets short.   I want to start trying all the things I put off all my life because I was busy doing that work thing that people do in order to survive. I’ve been retired a few years now so I need to get at it!

Let’s see…what else did I do last year. Oh yes. I watched my grand kiddos when their regular routine was disrupted by holidays, illnesses etc. I love those days. Usually it’s a day or two here and there. Just enough to fill my cup with grand-baby love and then go home and collapse. I love my time with them and we have made some pretty good memories. More to come I hope.

I also spent a lot of time with my aging mom.   She’s 93 and still going strong.   She’s not driving these days so I take her out at least once a week for a shopping outing. During the holidays we headed out twice a week, one day for groceries and one day for Christmas shopping. She is a woman that doesn’t like to impose on people and is always saying she doesn’t want to take up my time. I always tell her, “it’s quality time mom and we won’t get it back, so lets enjoy each other while we can.”   This is what she told me this morning when I talked to her on the phone. She said, “well, I really don’t have much grocery shopping to do this week, so let’s just make it a fun day okay?” How good is that? Very!

So now what? The new year is here and I want to get busy! Goals are good right? Do you do the “New Year Resolution” thing? I don’t because they never get fulfilled and it’s usually something like “I’m going to exercise more,” which I do really want to do but it never seems to be a high priority, so it doesn’t get done.

This year instead of giving up something or trying to stick to a new year resolution I’ve decided to make a list of things I want to try, things that I’ve never done before, things that have stirred in the back of my mind for years but for whatever reason I have just never done them.   In addition, I want to continue to do some of the things I’ve been working on half halfheartedly because of the lack of good time management. Like what I’m doing now, writing! For some reason I love to write. Am I good at it? My husband seems to think so.   That’s good enough for me! And, the fact that I just love doing it!   So I’ll be doing much more blogging this year.   My goal for now is at least one post per week. I figure if I right it down I can hold myself accountable.

I’m proud to say I got a head start on my list of goals. I asked my husband for a fly tying kit for Christmas and I got it! What a good husband! What is a fly tying kit you ask? Ever heard of fly-fishing?  I’m sure you have.  I’m going to make the pretty flys that the fisher people use when they fly fish. And…I’m going to start fly fishing myself!! We live just a couple of miles from one of the most beautiful rivers in our country, so no excuses for not doing it!

How about dance lessons? I’m working on that one. I want to learn with my husband, no other partner will do for me! He’s sort of almost on board with the idea.

I also received some art supplies that I asked for last year at Christmas. Yep, from my husband, he’s a gem. I got interested in painting when I went to one of those “paint and sip” events with some of my girlfriends. You can’t really go wrong at those events. Everyone comes out with a pretty painting. My mom was talented in this area as well as one of my sisters, so what the heck. I’m going to try it. Those sip and paint people have help classes that you can just drop in for on an hourly basis. So really there is no excuse not to do it. Scheduling.   Maybe I’ll take my mom.

I could go on and on with things I want to do, in fact I probably will when I sit down and make my next journal entry.   I’ll jot down some things I want to do this year. I’ll try to create a menu of sorts. That’s a good idea. I’ll create a menu of fun things to do, some vacation things to do, I’ll throw in some things to do for others. The goals can’t be all selfish. We all have to give back somehow. I’ll come up with some good fun, giving, ideas for the list.

I’ll pick some and then next year, I’ll report out on what I accomplished. One of my goals will be to have a readership for my blog, for now, well I’m just enjoying writing and publishing my own stuff. It’s fulfilling in some weird way.

So for now, Happy New Year and I’ll be back next week. (holding myself accountable)

The Farmers Wife is a Wise Mom

My mother is a wise women.   We spend a lot of time together. Sometimes shopping, sometimes lunching and sometimes she wants to stop at Starbucks for a Caramel Frappuccino. We talk a lot. This was our conversation one day.

Mom: How old is your sister going to be this year?

Me: Which one?

Mom: Cheryl

Me: She turned 60 last year so she’ll be 61 in September.

Mom: Oh! That means you’ll be 60 this year!

Me: Yep. (Long Pause) Mom looks at me and says, “Life begins at 60 you know….(another pause) It does you know!”

Me: Yep, I think I’m beginning to realize that.

I was going to say my mom is wise beyond her years, but she is 93 years young.   She doesn’t see herself as being old and was very insulted when the ladies from her church gave her a hand knitted lap blanket.  She said, “What do they think, I’m old?”  Then she went out to her yard and raked some leaves.   I love my mom.  She has spunk, she will have spunk until she draws her last breath.  And…don’t call her old!

There Comes a Day

I found this post on facebook today and it so profoundly struck a cord in my life that I had to share it.  My mother was not one to show her true self to us girls (she had three of us) but once and a while she would, in her own unique way.  I distinctly remember her sharing with me once that she had felt she reached an age where she could truly be herself.  Even though I was pretty young at the time I remember fully understanding what she was telling me.  I wish I could remember her exact words.  When I read this article today I remembered our conversation just as though these words were coming from her.  We share many more of these kinds of moments these days.  She’s 93 now and I am thankful for her.

I hope every woman young or old who reads these words can truly understand them, relate to them and then pass them on.  I thank the author for sharing her thoughts.

Ladies Pass it On

July 10 at 12:10pm

There comes a day, somewhere in the middle of every woman’s life, when Mother Nature herself stands behind us and wraps her arms around our shoulders, whispering

“It’s time.”

“You have taken enough now. It’s time to stop growing up, stop growing older and start growing wiser and wilder.

There are adventures still waiting on you and this time, you will enjoy them with the vision of wisdom and the companionship of hindsight, and you will really let go.

It’s time to stop the madness of comparison and the ridicule of schedule and conformity and start experiencing the joys that a life, free of containment and guilt, can bring.”

She will shake your shoulders gently and remind you that you’ve done your bit. You’ve given too much, cared too much, you’ve suffered too much.

You’ve bought the book, as it were, and worn the t-shirt.

Worse, you’ve worn the chains and carried the weight of a burden far too heavy for your shoulders.

“It’s time” she will say.

“Let it go, really let it go and feel the freedom of the fresh, clean spaces within you. Fill them with discovery, love and laughter. Fill yourself so full you will no longer fear what is ahead and instead you will greet each day with the excitement of a child.”

She will remind you that if you choose to stop caring what other people think of you and instead care what you think of you, you will experience a new era of your life you never dreamed possible.

‘It’s time’ she will say…

“to write the ending, or new beginning, of your own story.”

Words: Donna Ashworth
Beautiful, Wonderful, Fabulous Lady: Helen Mirren
LPIO 2017

Loving call from mom…

I just entered the Wal-Mart store and my phone rang. I usually don’t hear my phone when it rings but for some reason I had just reached into the outside pocket of my purse and felt it vibrate before I heard the ring.   I picked it up and saw it was mom calling.

“Hi mom.” As many of our conversations begin she said, “Hi Nancy, did you just try to call me?” I replied, “If I did, it wasn’t on purpose, it would have been a pocket dial.” She laughed and said, “Ya, I know how that is.” I don’t think she really did. Technology is not her thing.

Anyway, she went on to tell me how good the zucchini was that I had given her from our vegetable garden. She laughed and said someone had left some macaroni and cheese in her refrigerator from the 4th so she tossed some into her zucchini and made it all nice and cheesy. She was giggling like a little girl, “It was so good!” she said.

We talked for a while.   I told her I was at the store so she said she would let me go and then proceeded to talk on. That’s her MO lately. She loves to talk and sometimes I hear the same stories over and over but that’s okay I don’t mind. She just turned 92 in May and she had a TIA a month or so before that. She’s not quite been the same and I can see her failing, a little at a time.

As we were ending the conversation she kept telling me how much she loved me. She told me how she would not have been able to get through the day on the 4th without my help.   I told her I would always be there for her, to pick up the slack. She was so appreciative and said she so enjoyed the day.  I know the simplest tasks wear her out these days.

She kept saying, “Really Nancy,  you will never know how much I love you, really, you will never know.” By this time I’m standing in the pasta isle at Wal-Mart and tears begin to roll down my cheeks. I thought to myself, “You know, if this is the last time I ever talk to my mother her last words to me would be her telling me how much she loves me.”   And I would be ok with that.   That would be the best gift ever.