Tag Archives: Son

Meeting My Other Son

I distinctly remember the day my son-in-law came into my life.   I don’t exactly remember how the day came about but I do remember the moment my daughter came through the front door along with her then, boyfriend.   I was going through one of the darkest times of my life and the world just kept moving forward around me.   It’s funny how that happens.   When we are in crisis we expect the world to stop, but it doesn’t, nor should it.

They came into the room where I was sitting. I looked at my daughter and then at the man that stood behind her like a giant. I remember thinking… Oh. My. Goodness.   This guy was big. He stood at least 6’4” tall, he was broad and strong, he had no hair, and he was covered with tattoos!  Again I thought, Oh. My. Goodness. I couldn’t take my eyes off of  him.

My daughter introduced him to me and that’s when he spoke. As he spoke I began to melt. His speech was gentle and kind and his eyes were warm and comforting. I welcomed him into my home. I looked at my daughter and then at him and I knew this was going to be good.

He seemed so shy in the beginning. I soon discovered he was one of those people that had to get to know you before he would open up. I understood that. It really did take quite a long time to get to know him. Over time I watched and I waited. He became engaged to my daughter and she bubbled over with happiness.

Like a good friendship his relationship with all of us evolved slowly. Honestly I worried a little in the beginning but as time went on the bonds between him and each of our family members began to take root.   He first became a brother to my son.   As much as my son wanted to hate him for no other reason than he was dating his sister, well it just didn’t happen.   They became fast friends…they became brothers.

My husband, who wasn’t yet my husband, was asked to perform their wedding ceremony. He got licensed for the day, performed the ceremony, danced the father daughter dance with my daughter and in my eyes on that day our family melded together into a new and beautiful family unit.   That day was one of the best days of my life.

My husband and I are now grandparents to their two beautiful children. I have watched my son-in-law through these past years. He has treated my daughter with love and affection and yes, he sometimes tames the firecracker that is within her. He is a strong loving father to their two children. He is a good brother to my son. And best of all he is more of a son than a son-in-law to my husband and me.

I…we could not have asked for a better son-in-law. I am thankful and I love him like he is my own.

Happy Birthday to you…Son

 

Son, Family
One of my favorite pictures.

 

Find Your Passion She Said…

 

This is what she told her kids when they were growing up. “It doesn’t matter what you do in life, just find your passion.”   Translation: If you find your passion you will be happy no matter if you are rich or poor.

It’s funny that she would have this to say to them, she being a woman who really didn’t know what she wanted to do in life. Oh she tried. But, she could never really pin it down. She did what was expected of her, what her parents expected, what her teachers expected and in general what she thought society expected of her.   I guess that’s why it was important for her to instill this in her children. She could never zero in on her own passion so she started to tell her children to find theirs at a very young age. Do they remember? She doesn’t know, maybe they do.

One day she realized that her son was in the process of finding his passion. He was in his early 20’s. He never really had a good male role model to guide him through life so he fumbled and bumbled at times. Thankfully he was born with an independent, passionate, never give up spirit and he had faith. He knew how to stick with life.   It wasn’t always easy for him in fact it appeared on many occasions that he was ready to give up. He didn’t though. He never gave up.

What was his passion you ask?   It was the gym. “Oh good!” his mom thought. “That’s a great outlet for him, to blow off some steam, vent or hit a punching bag.   That’s what boys do right? It was good he found a place to “shake it off.”  What ever “it” was at the moment.

Then… it came. The realization that he was passionate about being in the “ring,” “fighting,” “sparring,” “winning.”  It was a gym for fighters.  What ever you want to call it, he was in a ring with an opponent where he could potentially get knocked around, twisted up, bones broken, bloody noses, blows to the head…. and…more.

It hit her like a ton of brick. He found his passion and it was either getting beat up or beating someone else up. This is not what she had planned for him. But, by this time it was to late.   Could she ground him? Take away his privileges? His gym membership? His car keys? (to the car he owns?) Oh dear. What a dilemma.

It’s not easy being a mom, especially when you have no power over your children because they grow up; they become self-sufficient and are responsible for themselves and their life choices. So, I watched that mom struggle with this passion of her sons. I watched her as she said her prayers asking God to keep him safe and to keep him free from injury and harm. I watched her, as she trusted God.

His mom literally got out of the way, she let her son make his choices, she moved out of God’s way and well…now she is sitting at her computer typing this story knowing that her son will be fighting his first Muay Thai Global Amateur Fight this afternoon. Yes, my son has followed his passion.

Can you really believe it though? We raise our children wondering why they “never” listen, “never” take our advice, “never” understand our infinite wisdom. The one time he listened…. well, you know the story.

The flip side is that he is happy. Didn’t I tell you? Find your passion and you will be happy. And me, well, I have to be honest; it scares me that he loves this particular passion.   I fear for his safety and well being. By the same token I see a confident, self assured content young man.   In some way he has found himself and not that he had anything to prove to anyone but if he did, well he is accomplished in his own right.

Stay safe and strong son…and if you’re going to fight, I hope you win!

Mom

 

The winner is…..yep, he won!  Now can I ground you?

And the winner is....
Winner of his Muay Thai Global Amateur debut.